


Heroics and Other Falsehoods

by DeathRainbows



Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII
Genre: A lot - Freeform, Child Abuse, Child Neglect, Doing what he thinks is right, Gen, Medical Experimentation, Morally Ambiguous!Zack, Non-Crisis Core Canon, Oneshot, Platonic Relationships, Protective Zack Fair, Wutai War, Zack thinks about his sins, Zack tries to be a hero
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-29
Updated: 2020-04-29
Packaged: 2021-03-01 18:48:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 17,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23901835
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeathRainbows/pseuds/DeathRainbows
Summary: Zack Fair is just a young boy from Gongaga, doing his best to be a hero. But really... what is a hero? Is it what you care about? Who you kill? Staying strong? Zack Fair is just a young boy from Gongaga, doing his best to be a hero. The only problem is he's still figuring out what that is.
Relationships: Zack Fair & Aerith Gainsborough, Zack Fair & Cloud Strife
Comments: 6
Kudos: 40





	Heroics and Other Falsehoods

**Author's Note:**

> I got hit with a wave of inspiration after seeing a couple blog posts about how Zack was characterized in the original FF7. He's chill with being a mercenary, kind of joked about abandoning Cloud, etc. from the few scenes he's in, and I got the weirdest urge to write a fic about it. I wrote this in two days, so please enjoy. Kudos are very much appreciated.
> 
> Edit (June 1st, 2020): You all are so kind in the comments. I'm so very happy I was able to write something like this and have people like it. At first, I toyed with the idea for a bit, then it quickly snowballed and became this piece. Truly, I'm touched that people enjoyed this and have even bookmarked it! At first it didn't think it was being received very well, but you guys have really changed that and helped me consider this piece something to be proud of. So... Thank you. To everyone who leaves a kudos, comments, or bookmarks, thank you.

The swamps of Gongaga were always filled with an oppressive heat. It was the kind of heat that made children pant while they played and adults sweat while they worked in the marshes, the kind of heat that invited mosquitoes to come and eat off of dehydrated skin, the kind of heat that encouraged Touch Me’s to stay under the water while the sun hung high in the sky. The swamps themselves were little more than bogs, often filled with muddy monster carcasses that had yet to dissolve into the Lifestream, the water no cleaner than the dirt around it. The mud would squelch between the bare toes of roaming toddlers, rising up and threatening to swallow them, while at the same time sinking any nearby trees that may have offered a helpful branch to escape with. Parental supervision was key to survival. Vines often hung low from the damp sagging branches of the forest, but many were perfectly placed for swinging into the filthy water, a favorite pastime for the few children who had finished work for the day. The houses were mostly constructed from wood and other cheap materials found close to the village, hammered and nailed together by the splintered, calloused hands of the town carpenter. Some days the townspeople joked that the hot, baleful sun would light their little sheds on fire, though they all knew Gongaga was much too muggy for any actual flames to creep through their homes.

There were a painfully small amount of children in the village. Most who lived there were single or old, oftentimes both. Those who weren’t worked almost all day, leaving little time for family or spouses. There were a total of three children in the village, two boys and one girl. The first boy could hardly be called a child, already entering his late teens. He would take after his father, the carpenter, once he was grown, or so the gossip went. The girl was little more than a toddler, under three years old. She had developed a lisp along with a heavy Gongagan accent. The last boy was just about to enter teenhood. His hair was reminiscent of a porcupine’s back, inky black wild spikes that would have stuck up in the back if not for the damp air.

Zack Fair spent his childhood alone. He was friends with everyone in the village, but he often traveled the swamps by himself because no one else wanted to risk getting lost, either in the trees or the seemingly never-ending muddy ground. His parents usually left him alone to explore the swamps while they worked and cleaned. He was only expected to come home when the last rays of the orange sun dipped under the horizon. He made the mistake of staying out one night when he was five or six. When he returned home the next day, his mother had slapped him across the face for ‘making her worry’. His father had been gone, working all day as per usual, but secretly Zack was happy he hadn’t come home yet. He usually got a worse punishment from him anyway. 

During the bath after the escapade, after he had cleaned the mud from under his fingernails and between his toes, he turned to his mother, dark blue eyes blinking curiously, as she kneeled beside the cold white tub. He asked, “Mama, how come you hit me when I was out late?” He had always watched in wonder at how the other mothers acted with their children. They were all so very different from his ma. They cuddled their children warmly, held them close when they were hurt, and kissed them gently on the forehead before sending them out to play. He wanted to reach out to his ma, to hug her and make everything right, but she flinched and pulled away whenever he tried. Zack combed the wet hair out of his eyes and stared at her curiously. His mother’s face had become awfully pinched after the question, her lips making a thin white line and her brows knitting. In lieu of answering, she simply dunked the bucket of cold water on his head, flattening his spiked hair even farther. “Don’t ask silly questions, Zackary. You know why.” Zack glanced at her a moment, confusion plain on his round, childish face. His mother wouldn’t look at him, and simply refilled the bucket for another dunk. Zack closed his eyes when the water was poured over his head again, but when he opened them he couldn’t tell if his face was wet from lingering droplets or the tears.

  
He was seven years old when he encountered his first Touch Me, and was barely able to escape the creature after returning to his true body. Zack was up to his thighs in mud from tripping through the swamps when he reached home and cried out to his ma. He didn’t know what he was expecting from her. She never paid any attention to him, no matter how much trouble he got into. But it had been _scary_ , and she was the biggest comfort he had, no matter how distant she was. So Zack ran in, tears streaming down his face as relief overcame him from finally being safe at home. 

But Mama had taken only a glance at his tearful face before absently sweeping her gaze down to his muddy shirt and saying in her usual disapproving way, “Zackary, go get cleaned up. You’ll track mud into the house. You don’t want to get your father involved, do you?” She turned away, and instead of the sympathy he was hoping for, she continued talking absentmindedly, chiding him for going exploring again without supervision. Zack sucked in a breath through his one front tooth (the other had gotten knocked out awhile ago), blinked away the tears from his eyes, rubbed the snot from his face, and stared at her, dumbfounded. A cry of frustration he didn’t know he was holding burst out from his chest, but she didn’t even turn around to look at him, continuing to stir the pot of stew slowly cooking on the stove. _Ma!_ He wanted to say. _Look at me, ma! Pay attention to me, please!_ He didn’t know how to sort out the feelings inside his head. Instead of trying, he glared at her. A wave of what he would later call vindictiveness overcame him, and he clenched his hand by his side. _Fine then._ He childishly thought. He quickly came up with a plan. He ran out the door and quickly returned to the swamps, with the proper protection this time in the form of a cloth, and picked up a Touch Me. His mother seemed surprised to see him back so soon when he pushed the door open and grinned toothily at her. “Zackary,” she asked curiously, her eyes distant, “What have you got there?”

He relished her shocked expression when he chucked the Touch Me at her. In a poof of magic, his mother no longer stood in the kitchen. A transformed frog with her dark curls stared fearfully at him when he leered over her. “How do you like that, Mom?!” He cheered, picking her up with the cloth. She croaked as he spun her around.

Then his father came home. He had taken one look at the situation and decided to beat Zack within an inch of his life for “attacking his mother”. Zack didn’t quite understand what he had done wrong. Everyone in Gongaga had been hit by a Touch Me at least once. He was just giving Ma an extra turn then, so she would remember how scary it felt. Zack had lifted his arms to try and protect his face, but he hadn’t been able to stop his dad from getting him in the eye. His stomach was hurting too, after the kicks. He wouldn’t stop hitting him until Zack agreed to retrieve the Touch Me that had escaped and turn his mother back. Zack bit his lip, quivering on the floor as he recovered, his father stepping away to tend to his mother. It took him a minute to screw his head back on and get his body to work again. He pushed himself up, trembling wildly and unable to look away from his shaky hands. 

“You’re goin’ to go get that damn monster, right boy?”

“Yes sir.” Zack affirmed quietly. He blinked away the hotness in his eyes as he went back into town to look for the Touch Me. _Big boys don’t cry,_ he reminded himself, rubbing a quickly forming bruise on his arm. He found the Touch Me just before it reached the swamp and swaddled it in the cloth again. He pushed down the strong urge to throw it at his father, and instead carefully handed him the bundled up monster.

After Ma was turned back, she took one look at Zack’s bruised face and slid behind his father, gripping his arm as though looking for protection. Zack fought the urge to look around the room for threats. _But who could she want protection from?_ He asked himself. _You, dummy!_ His brain supplied cheerfully. Zack had never seen his mother look at him with such a strange expression. Fear? Disgust? Anger? He couldn’t decide which label to assign to it. Zack’s parents treated him differently after the incident. His father hit him a more when he wasn’t helping him work, and his mother sometimes acted like she didn’t even know he was there. Zack did everything he could to make her look at him, but most days it wasn’t enough. She simply turned away and continued cleaning.

“I love you!” He had said once, when he was still a toddler. Zack remembered his mother had gone quiet, simply picking him up and telling him it was time for bed. Several years later, he turned nine. “I love you!” He had tried again. His mother, cleaning the kitchen, had frozen, then continued wiping the dust away from the cabinets. The only sign she had heard him was the trembling in her hands. Still, she _had_ heard him. And that probably hurt Zack the most, even more than the beatings his father still gave. Because she had heard, and she never said, “I love you too.”

\------

By this time Zack turned eleven, he had developed some muscle from chopping trees and building with his father, and he would proudly show off his biceps to the single women in the village, even though they all laughed at his poor attempts at flirting. Zack knew by now that his family was the center topic of the village gossip, usually due to the bruises he was sporting and his reticent mother, not to mention his pops. Zack and his dad didn’t get along great, but now that he was older he was able to figure out the proper amount of time his dad usually wanted him to work, and went by that to avoid getting hit. 

“Now listen Son, you’re not gonna be a burden on this family, y’hear?” His father had said to a four year old Zack. “You youngster’s all think you can laze away your days underneath the Sun. ‘It’s too hot to work,’ ya might say. Excuses are all I hear. Now you’re gonna work when you're under my roof, or the next time you stay out late I’m not gonna letcha back in, no matter what your mother does. Do we have an understanding?” Zack had nodded respectfully, and responded just how his dad taught him to. “Yes sir.”

Zack understood. Gongaga was a small town, with not a lot of money to go around. Everyone needed to work to make a decent living, even the children. Still, when he found his thoughts wandering, resentment made his face scrunch up in funny ways. Zack did his best to push the negativity down and away. No matter what his father said or did, he was still Zack’s father, so Zack felt as though he _couldn’t_ resent him. So he smiled and told his dad “I love you,” even though he wasn’t ever sure he meant it.

  
  


The only television in Gongaga was at the inn. The innkeeper let people in to watch it if they bought drinks (though he let Zack watch for free since he helped him clean up after guests left). Zack found himself visiting the inn more and more, drawn in by colors, sounds, and visuals on the small television, all proudly presented by the Shinra Electric Power Company. Most noticeably, however, he was drawn to the programs about Sephiroth. Shinra had recently launched a war on Wutai to quell the rebellion, having enough money and resources to fund a private army. Sephiroth was, of course, the best of the best, not to mention the _General_ _of the_ _whole army_. Zack really couldn’t help getting stars in his eyes. “Sephiroth is so cool!” He once gushed to the men of the village, “He’s a hero!” 

Zack whooped as the broadcast showed another victory over the Wutai rebels. The early morning sun shone in through the window, giving the virtual Sephiroth a halo of righteous light. Zack grinned at the innkeeper, who seemed troubled as he squeezed out the cleaning rag over the sink. “What’s wrong man? That’s another big win for us!” Zack prodded. The innkeeper turned his gaze from the television program to Zack. There was something like disappointment on his face. “Zack… them Wutaians are still people. Shinra is o’er there slaughterin’ them.”

Zack waved his hand at him. “You’re such an old man. The Wutaians started it. Sephiroth’s just showin’ them what’s what.”

The innkeeper simply shook his head and began cleaning the leftover glasses, previously filled with whiskey from the night before. “...You’ll understand when you’re older. I hope.”

Zack huffed, putting his hands on his hips. _This guy is such an old coot!_ “You’ve lost your spirit, old man. I bet you're just jealous Sephiroth is on TV while us Gongagans are cleaning glasses in the jungle.”

The old man sighed. “Zackary, keep that up and I’ll have to ask you to leave. No pay.”

That stopped him. No pay means a definite slap or two from his dad. “Alright, alright. No need to be hasty, right?”

After finishing his morning work, Zack retired to the muggy swamps. Now that he was thirteen, splashing in mud puddles no longer held much appeal. He mostly went in to mess with the Touch Me’s, though he daren’t bring one back after the incident. But this time, after he splashed his way out of the bogs, he was greeted by a strange sight. A man stood on the road outside Gongaga, dressed in the regular Shinra army uniform. He clearly looked uncomfortable in the heat, tugging at his collar and rolling up his sleeves.

“Hey!” Zack called as he emerged from the swamps.

The man jumped, but quickly regained his composure. He plastered a smile on his face that wasn’t there before Zack arrived. “Hello!” The man couldn’t be over twenty. “I work for the Shinra Electric Power Company. I assume you’ve heard of us?”

Zack nodded, grinning. “Sure have! Wutai never stood a chance, am I right?”

The Shinra man nodded. “For sure. Anyway, is there any chance you know where Gongaga is?”

Zack nodded again, but put his hand to chin in mock curiosity. “What’ll you give me if I tell you?”

The man scratched his head in confusion. “Uh-”

Zack smiled, “I’m just kidding! We’re over that way. Anyway, what’re you doing way out here?”

Zack began walking back towards his hometown. The man took his cue and followed. He fidgeted with the load of papers stuck under his arm. “Well, I’m actually here to recruit new SOLDIERS.”

Zack’s eyes bugged out of his head. “WHAT?! Really? That’s awesome! Where do I sign up?”

The recruiter’s smile appeared a bit more genuine. “Here.” He handed Zack one of the forms under his arm. “Fill this out, mail it in, and you’ll get your letter of acceptance. After that, head to Midgar and to Shinra HQ. You’ll find out more there.” He eyed Zack’s body, clearly studying his muscles and physique. “I think you’ll do well.”

Zack cheered, and folded up the paper to tuck into his pants. He patted the recruiter on the back, hard, and pointed him to the inn. “That’s probably where you’ll get the most traffic. Good luck!”

“Ma! Pops!” Zack yelled as he entered the house. He was still covered in mud, but he kicked off his boots as he entered, trying to create a semblance of cleanliness. His ma stumbled out of the bedroom, pops following. Zack didn’t even care if he was hit. He knew what he was going to do, and for the first time in his life as a small town kid he had a _goal_. “I’m gonna join SOLDIER!”

Their reactions were expected.

“What- Zackary, I-”

“Absolutely not.”

Zack waved them off. He smiled brightly, though he was secretly a little disappointed. He knew how his parents were, but somewhere, he had _hoped_ … Well, he wasn’t sure what he hoped. He already knew how his pops was going to respond, but he wanted his ma, at least, to be happy for him. Maybe this way... he could make them both happy, as well as himself. 

“No, no, listen. Shinra pays really well, at least for SOLDIERs. And that’s what I’m gonna be!”

His ma stared at him in confusion, though his pops at least seemed to be willing to entertain the idea now. His mom stepped forward, and in all of his years, Zack knew that this was the only time he had ever held her full attention. “Zack, I- Where did this come from?”

Zack held up the SOLDIER recruitment form. A picture of Sephiroth was included, clipped to the back. “I’ve always wanted to be a hero, ever since I saw Sephiroth on the TV at the inn. And, even though I know I’ll be missed, I really feel like, well- like I’m _needed_ out there in Wutai. I know I could be great, and staying here is- it’s _so boring_ , Ma. Everything’s the same here. I just know I could make a difference out there, if I really try.”

Ma held her hand close to her chest. Pops crossed his arms, clearly in consideration. Finally, his Ma looked at him, tears in her eyes. “Zackary- Zack. I’m going to miss you. But- I really do want you to do _something_ with your life. So I-I’m going to let you go. Alright? You go out there, and you make me proud, okay? Most of all, make yourself proud.”

Zack stared at her a moment. That was the most his ma had ever spoken to him. Finally a big grin swept over his face, crinkling his eyes in the corner and making his cheeks hurt. “Do you really mean it?” He asked, hardly daring to believe. His ma nodded. Zack could barely believe his eyes. He turned his gaze sharply to his pops, clearing his throat. “And you, sir?”

His pops uncrossed his arms. “Well, you’ll finally be on your own, supporting yourself. I suppose I can’t complain about that.”

Cautiously, Zack approached his father. He lifted his chin and met Pops’ hard eyes, sticking out his hand. “I won’t disappoint, sir.” He said quietly. His pops nodded and clapped a hand on his shoulder. “I expect to see you in the papers soon enough.”

He mailed his recruitment form and left abruptly the next morning.

* * *

  
The jungles of Wutai were similar to those of Gongaga, but only in the superficial sense. It was still the hot mugginess of Zack’s childhood, but now there were assassins and guerilla forces lurking around every tree, bush, and flower patch, not to mention the poisonous plants and traps left for Shinra forces. Zack hefted the Buster Sword, keeping his hand at the ready in case more forces jump out to kill his men. He’s been leading this squadron through the jungle for days now. They were supposed to arrive at the last Wutaian stronghold half a day ago, but even with Zack’s knowledge of muddy forests they’d gotten horribly, hopelessly lost. His men were all frustrated and tired. He hadn’t let them stop and sleep for fear of an ambush, but even with his enhancements he was starting to feel the strain. His mako helped him eat less, leaving more for his men, but that didn’t mean he had to like it. 

Zack was now sixteen, three years older than when he left home with nothing but a russack. He had arrived at Shinra HQ bright-eyed despite his troubles on the road and quickly ascended through the ranks to SOLDIER Second Class. He knew it made some of his men uncomfortable to have someone younger than them leading them into battle, but in reality Sephiroth was only in his twenties, so they really shouldn’t have any complaints. _Well, despite the fact you’re nowhere near the same caliber as he is. Hero? Please. You’ve got a long way to go._ His mind supplied. _Shut up, brain._ He told himself. _You’ve got a job to do._

He heard his men talking in low voices behind him, probably commenting on his spectacular failure as the commander of this operation. Suddenly, the bushes rustled in front of him, before going completely still. The sounds of nature were silent, and the only noise in the forest came from his own troops.

“Quiet!” He barked, glowing eyes focused on the foliage in front of him. No more rustling. Still, he unsheathed the Buster Sword, just to be cautious. He took a careful step forward. Something clicked.

The trees exploded and the dense forest around them was suddenly swarmed with Wutaians. Zack immediately shielded his face, but by the noises behind him he knew many of his men weren’t so lucky. Bark dug itself into his arm. _That’s gonna be a bitch to remove_. 

“Everyone, DUCK!” He yelled. He dove to the ground as a shuriken embedded itself into a tree, barely missing the true target of his carotid artery. Zack swung the Buster Sword low, cutting clean through the feet of some Wutaian rebels. They screamed, but Zack tuned them out to focus on the battle. He had to win this. 

Like a hurricane, Zack fought through the ambush, cutting and slicing and chopping clean through the rebels. Their blood sprayed onto his face, covered his arms, and congealed in his hair, weighing him down as he moved. They all fell before his blade, though one or two put up a good enough fight to really get his blood pumping. He finished up with the quick decapitation of the final rebel and stood up, planting his sword in the ground and scanning the clearing. He nearly felt sick with the stench of blood. 

“Gross,” he whispered, but he didn't dare wipe the blood off on nearby plant life. You never knew what could be poisonous way out here. He turned around, wiping his face clean with a glove, and stared in despair at the sight of his men. Or, what was left of them. Where there had once been a squadron of men was now reduced to only five. The remains of his squadron were staring at him in complete fear, in awe of the flurry of metal and blood. But they wouldn’t say a word, nor leave the scene of the battle, lest they be filed as deserters. Zack didn’t have it in him to apologize. They were fully trained troops. They were responsible for themselves in battle.

Another rustle in the bushes had him hurling a hidden knife into them. Far before the knife struck home, a small figure leapt out and dashed into the trees.

“Damn Wutaians.” Zack growled. If they would just give up, more innocent lives could be saved, not to mention their own. Why didn’t they see it was better to submit to Shinra at this point? Zack had only been eligible for a mission in Wutai during the denouement of the whole war. Sephiroth had taken care of the majority of the resistance. At this rate, Zack would never be able to prove himself. Sure, he had made Second Class, but he was nowhere near famous enough to get into the papers. Not like Sephiroth.

One of his men approached him. Zack realized he must still look a mess, covered in Wutaian blood and holding the massive Buster Sword like a lifeline. “Commander Fair, sir, if I may…”

“Permission to speak, granted.” Zack replied tiredly, still keeping his eyes peeled for any remaining rebels. 

“Well, sir, the remain- the other men and I were curious as to the estimated time of arrival to the mission target.”

Zack placed his head on his hands, which were still clenching the end of hilt on the Buster Sword with white knuckles. “I don’t know, trooper.” He couldn’t be bothered to remember this one’s name at the moment. 

The man was crestfallen. “I-I understand, sir.”

“Dismissed. Oh, and don’t call me sir. Reminds me of my pops.”

The man nodded and regrouped with the rest of the squadron, though apprehension was clearly crawling in the air around them. Zack pulled the Buster Sword out of the ground and sheathed it across his back. “Let’s get a move on.” he ordered.

“Yes sir!” Was the response. Zack sighed. Wutai really wasn’t what he’d thought it would be. Zack had killed countless Wutaian troops, saved so many lives back home by quashing the rebellion, but his name had never been featured in the paper. _Sephiroth gets all the attention._ He thought sourly.

  
  
  


They arrived at their mission target two days after the ambush. Godo’s forces had been exterminated by the time they got there, of course, and the emperor himself was surrendering, agreeing to the peace treaty Shinra had proposed two years ago. _Seriously,_ Zack thought, _they just want to build a few reactors here. I honestly don’t see what the big fuss was about._

Shinra forces wouldn’t be withdrawn for a while, at least for the next year or two while they built the reactors. However, only General Sephiroth’s presence was required to complete the treaties, so after a couple months Zack was called back home.

But on the day he was supposed to leave, as he was preparing to gather the remains of his squadron, he was ambushed outside by a young girl. Her large shuriken nearly took Zack’s head off, but thanks to his enhancements he was able to draw the Buster Sword in time to block. The shuriken shrieked as metal fought metal, but Zack was able to successfully deflect it into the woods. The girl jumped, high into the sky, and successfully retrieved her weapon before landing and assuming a fighting stance. Her eyes burned with fury, even though she couldn’t have been more than nine.

Zack started, surprised Godo would order an assassination attempt using his own daughter. “Aren’t you Princess Yuffie?” He asked. 

“Darn right, I am!” She yelled, clutching her weapon. “And I’m gonna take you down!”

Despite her age, she put up a tough fight. Zack was sweating by the time he finally pinned her down, and despite the mako in his veins his muscles hurt like a bitch. Flinging the Buster Sword around and trying to deflect Yuffie’s shuriken was a pain in the ass. Zack held the sword above her throat, even though he knew killing her would probably launch the war all over again. This was Godo’s daughter, after all.

“I’m going to let you go this time, but I better not see you around here again. Do you understand?” Zack asked calmly. Yuffie wriggled, but she didn’t have too much room to move under the blade without risking losing her head. Her tiny hands clenched into fists, her shuriken lying somewhere behind him.

Yuffie glared at him. Surprised, Zack realized there were tears in her eyes. “You SOLDIER jerks are all the same!” She yelled, barely holding back a sob as the tears ran down her round cheeks, biting her bottom lip to try and contain her anger. She tried to stand up, but Zack kept the blade level over her neck, pose reminiscent of an executioner. His interest was piqued. “Really? How so?”

Yuffie bit her lip harder, teeth sinking in through the skin to create a rivulet of blood down her chin. She averted her eyes, unwilling to look at him any longer than she had to. “...You murdered everybody. And I know none of you feel bad about it either.” Zack’s hands wavered, wobbling the Buster Sword and his eyes widened. Breath seemed in short supply as he tried to create a hasty defense. “N-Now hold on. Wutai started it. If you guys had just submitted to Shinra-”

Yuffie cut him off and the fire burning bright in her eyes seemed to give her strength to look at him, bitterness completely apparent on her childish face. “Then why is Shinra even here, huh?” She asked hotly, her eyes glistening with the rage of many years’ worth of frustration, “Why are you here, _Mr. SOLDIER?_ Do you just like to see our land taken and culture destroyed? Or maybe you like the stench of blood on your hands, like that jerk Sephiroth.” She narrowed her eyes at Zack, who felt as though the rug had been pulled out from under him. “I hate you.”

Zack was unable to hide his shock at her genuine anger. He had never seen this from the rebels, only detached rage that never seemed quite real when he was cutting them down. His hands began to shake, furthur disturbing the Buster Sword. Taking advantage of his state, Yuffie knocked the blade away with a previously hidden knife and rolled away, jumping into the trees. She paused and turned around, abandoning her shuriken by Zack. Her dark eyes seemed to pierce through Zack’s own, and the pure hate he found in the eyes of a child seemed to hold him in place. 

“No matter what good you think you did… you’re still a murderer.” She left in a dash of green, and Zack stood in the clearing, breathing unevenly for sometime. He eventually shouldered the Buster Sword and changed direction to the General’s quarters, scooping up the shuriken as we went. Sephiroth would want to know that the Wutaian princess was causing trouble with SOLDIERs.

  
  


“Is that it, Second Class Fair?” Sephiroth drawled calmly.

“Er- yes, General Sephiroth, sir. Permission to speak?”

“Granted.”

“I was never that interested before, but why _is_ Shinra in Wutai?”

“Awfully nosey, aren’t you Fair?”

“Sorry Sir.”

“It’s alright. I understand where you’re coming from. But I assure you that Shinra is only doing what is necessary. Don’t you want your family at home to stay safe and protected, with more than enough power to live long, healthy lives?”

“Of course Sir.”

“Then we are done. Dismissed.”

Zack left the tent feeling much more assured. General Sephiroth was right, of course. He may have killed some people, but he was only doing his job to protect those he loved. He’d be a hero to them. At the very least, that thought helped ease his consciousness. He was doing the right thing.

* * *

Falling through the roof of Aerith’s church was probably the happiest screw up in Zack’s life. He had messed up a mission in Midgar (ugh, he would be laughed at for weeks) and his head hurt like a bitch. That’s when he heard the voice of an angel.

“Hello? Hellooooo?” The playful voice said, right above his head. When he cracked his eyes open, he was greeted with the face of the prettiest girl he had ever seen. “Hi.” He said with a cracked voice. “I’m Zack.”

As he soon learned, Aerith was far from an angel. Even though she was the sole provider of flowers in the slums, she certainly had enough attitude that there was no doubt where she was from. Aerith was spunky and kind, and Zack felt like the luckiest boy (really he was 17, he should start considering himself a man) alive to have met her. But even though they originally hit it off pretty well, Zack supposed it wasn’t met to be. 

“Your eyes…” She had squinted and studied his face, the pretty new ribbon in her hair trailing over her shoulder. With a gasp she drew back. “You- You’re SOLDIER!”

Zack attempted to wave off her surprise. “And? What do you think about my eyes?”

Despite her shock (and apparent unease), Aerith let out a small giggle. “They’re very pretty.”

Zack stroked his chin in mock consideration. “That’s it? Nothing about my handsome face, or silky hair, or-” He paused.

Aerith wasn’t laughing anymore, though she did have a small, sad smile on her face. “Zack, if you’re SOLDIER… I can’t… I need to go home.”

“What?!” Zack asked, somewhat hurt. What did his job have to do with anything? “Aerith, why?”

Aerith rubbed her hand against her arm. “Shinra is- it doesn’t matter. Don’t you have to get back to work anyway?”

Zack ran a hand through his hair. “Well, yes, but- Don’t change the subject! Why do _you_ have to leave?”

Aerith continued rubbing her arm nervously. “There are things about me that aren’t… I’m not exactly like the rest of you. I can’t tell you everything, but, that’s my reasoning, I suppose.”

Zack scratched his head. “Huh?” But Aerith was already walking away. “Aerith, wait!” Somehow, even with his enhanced senses, he lost track of her in the crowding of bodies in the slums. Zack felt put out, and a persistent feeling that he had just lost something important remaining with him during his whole trek to headquarters.

  
  


Zack was on his way to mope in his apartment when he encountered Sephiroth in the upper SOLDIER corridors. The General looked tired, an unusual emotion on his normally stone-cut face. 

“What happened, sir?” Zack asked. Sephiroth sighed. Zack still couldn’t figure out Sephiroth’s nervous habit, even though he was sure he had one. After all, even great heroes had to have one, right? 

“Informal as ever, I see.” said Sephiroth exasperatedly.

“It’s in the blood.”

Sephiroth let out something between a laugh and a chuckle. “Paperwork from the mass desertions. That’s what happened.”

Zack let out a low whistle and fell into stride beside the General. Sephiroth quirked a brow but said nothing. This would be terrible for Zack’s own health, but… “Do ya need any,” _How to phrase this with General Sephiroth…?_ “Administrative aid?”

Sephiroth, of course, picked up on what he was saying, and this time definitely let out a low chuckle. “No, I don’t believe so. Thank you for the offer, Lieutenant Fair.”

“Hey-” Zack paused, “Why do you keep calling me that?”

A ghost of a smirk graced Sephiroth’s face. “Here.” 

He handed Zack a paper from the stack he was carrying under his arm. They must be important documents if the General himself was handing them to one of the higher-ups. Zack gave a brief glance to the paper he had been handed, jaw dropping once he read the first line. “No way-” He breathed. He whirled, only to see Sephiroth had somehow vanished from right beside him, already closing the door to the elevator and watching him. _That is a definite smirk._

In a gesture reminiscent of his youth, Zack folded and tucked the paper into his pants as he raced to his apartment. He was laughing disbelievingly the whole way. _First Class. Lieutenant General._ It was an impossible dream come true. He shut the door to the apartment and collapsed onto the couch, quickly drifted off into a nap

  
  
  


Zack returned to the slums next time he had leave to check on Aerith. She may have left him with a confused jumble of emotions (most of all, hurt) but he thought they had at least become friends by the time their short ‘date’ had come to an end. He checked the only place he knew to find her, the church, but the calm, peaceful bed of flowers was empty of their gardener. Zack worriedly ran a hand through his hair. _Maybe she’s at her house?_ He tried to reason with himself. But still, that nagging sense of worry gnawed at him, and even doing squats didn’t help soothe the strange feelings of concern. 

  
  
  
  


Rumors of a new specimen in the Science Department seemed a little too fishy for Zack’s tastes. Aerith still hadn’t shown up, and he’d visited the church three times since they had first met. He figured she would have been there at least once, but no sign of her ever seemed to come up. What was really strange was that the flowers were dying. Even if she was avoiding him, he doubted she would have left the flowers she had chided him for landing on uncared for if given the choice. She had also mentioned something about Shinra. It was way too suspicious for Zack to leave along.

This left Zack little option but to visit the dreaded Shinra Science Department to investigate. He decided the best time would be during his monthly mako injections. They would be administered by one of Hojo’s assistants (the professor prepared the concoction beforehand and gave it to his labhands to administer. The only one Hojo dealt with personally was Sephiroth.), so Zack felt reasonably confident he could knock them out without arousing too much suspicion. 

Plan in place, he got his injections and knocked out the labhand after they finished the report. There was still the matter with the security cameras, but Zack trusted Reno enough to at least loop the feed in exchange for some porn magazines. As stealthily as a SOLDIER First Class could be, which was actually fairly stealthy due to the fact Zack had (probably unwisely) left the Buster Sword in his apartment, he began his trek into the bowels of Hojo’s ‘projects’. Deeper and deeper he went, growing more and more uncomfortable as the strange rumors he’d heard about the Science Department came to life in front of his eyes. Though the monstrosities were abhorrent enough, what truly made Zack sick was that he couldn’t reason with himself like he had with Wutai. There was no reason for Shinra to create these things. _Why are they letting Hojo have free reign? Surely there’s a reason Shinra would do this?_

He grimaced as his boot slipped in something slimy. Zack turned around cautiously and felt his heart break. 

A large dog had been stripped of its fur. Several large pus-filled lumps lined the poor thing’s spine, and it whimpered pathetically as Zack laid eyes on it. It’s claws had been removed and its pads scraped away, blood dripping on the floor wherever it stood. It’s tail had been cut off, and there were several injection points dotting it’s bare body. Zack couldn’t help himself. He unlocked the cage door (It wasn’t digital. Seriously. Did Hojo _want_ his experiments to get out?) and scooped the dog into his arms. It whimpered pitifully, but made no effort to escape or bite him, a good sign it hadn’t gone mad. Zack held it close as he wandered farther into Shinra’s laboratories. Each step he took made him a little more dizzy, a little more sick, and the monsters got bigger and nastier the deeper he got. The poor dog trembled and Zack held it close. 

“Aerith… where are you?”

Zack finally got to the last room. Inside a circular glass cage was Aerith, curled up and trembling. Zack let out a sigh of relief, rushing forward. He knelt, rearranging the dog in his arms, and tapped gently on the glass. Aerith looked up, startled, but the relief on her face couldn’t be mistaken. “Zack?”

“Hey…” He replief gently, trailing off. He wasn’t sure what to say. _Why are you here? Hi, I’m here to break you out. Your flowers are dying._

“Can you get me out, maybe?” Aerith asked hopefully. Her eyes fell on the dog he was holding. “Zack! Is that one of… his?”

Zack ran over to the control panel and tried hitting random buttons in order to open the container, shifting the dog to one arm for maximum efficiency. “It’s fine Aerith!” He said, smashing buttons. This was totally not fine. He was gonna get caught, and then _he_ would become one of these neglected science experiments. Hojo was gonna- “Got it!” he cheered. The cage slid down and Aerith sighed in relief as she hefted her dress and stepped out. She eyed the dog suspiciously, but when her eyes fell to Zack she smiled ruefully. “I guess avoiding you did more harm than good.”

Zack laughed uneasily. “Yeah, hehe, I guess. C’mon lets get out of here.” These labs weren’t the best place for a thank-you kiss.

  
  


They made it back to slums by evening. Zack’s arm was starting to feel heavy from carrying the dog all the way down from the Shinra building, where he had snuck Aerith out by pretending that he and Aerith were a SOLDIER/Secretary couple making out in the hallway, slowly advancing to the entrance. Aerith had thankfully played along pretty well, and Zack would admit there were more than a few times where he had actually wanted to kiss her. The dog was, of course, hidden between their bodies when they finally escaped.

Aerith led him to the church, where he gently set the dog down on one of the pews. “Oh no!” Aerith exclaimed. She rushed over to the flowers, nearly knocking over the empty watering can in her haste. “Zack!” She chided, “You let my flowers die!”

“What!” He yelped, “I did not! I threw water on them and everything!” Aerith pouted at him as she held up a sagging blossom. She promptly watered it, and to Zack’s surprise the flower perked right up, as though merely being touched with Aerith’s hands and little bit of water was enough to bring it back to life. He whistled and grinned at Aerith, who was paying attention to the flowers more than him. “Quite the green thumb there.”

Aerith hummed in agreement, but still didn’t look at him. Zack sighed and crossed his arms. “I better get back before they know it was me who helped you out. Stay out of trouble, alright?”

Aerith nodded and wiped off her dirty hands on her dress. Her hair was greasy from staying in Hojo’s care, and Zack swallowed uncomfortably when he saw a few needle pricks on her bare arms. “Bye Zack… feel free to come by, okay? Your welcome here.”

Zack nearly waved goodbye, but remembered his earlier idea. A devilish grin came over his face. “Don’t I at least get a thank-you kiss?”

Aerith frowned and turned back around, returning to her flowers. “You shouldn’t want a reward for helping people, Zack.”

Now Zack frowned. “Don’t be like that. I didn’t mean it that way.”

Aerith shrugged, but a small grin betrayed her teasing. “Maybe next time.”

Zack returned to headquarters long after the sun had set. He left the dog at Aerith’s church, trusting she could (And would) take care of the poor thing. But on his way up to his apartment, he once again ran into Sephiroth, this time bereft of papers. The General no longer looked tired, but in place of exhaustion was an expression of displeasure. 

“Lieutenant Fair. Where have you been?”

Zack countered with a sort-of lie. “With my girlfriend.”

The General’s brow rose, but his eyes remained as calculating as ever. Zack hadn’t felt this on edge around him in a long time. “Really? I wasn’t aware you had one.”

Zack scratched the back of his neck. “Yeah. She’s great.” He didn’t want to say anymore. Clearly, Shinra knew Aerith, and anymore hints might give him or her away. He didn’t want to end up as Hojo’s latest specimen.

“I see. And you don’t know anything about a breach of containment in the Science Department today, which coincidentally took place during your monthly mako shot appointment?”

Zack laughed nervously. Sephiroth’s tone had taken on a dangerous edge. Zack hadn’t seen this side of him for some time, not since the times of the ‘Demon of Wutai’. “Nope. What happened?”

Sephiroth studied his face, but remained silent for a few moments. His expression minutely softened. “Nothing major. An escaped specimen or two. Hojo is furious, of course, but seeing as you had nothing to do with it I don’t believe you’ll need any more information.”

Zack felt his breath catch in his throat. _Was the great General Sephiroth really covering for him?_ “If I may ask a question, sir, what was the specimen doing in the labs in the first place?”

Sephiroth’s gaze turned from lazy to sharp, like a predator mountain cat finally spotting its prey. “I’d be careful with your questions, Lieutenant Fair. They may get you into trouble one day. I will say this,” Sephiroth broke the eye contact and Zack could finally breathe again, “Shinra is not the place to grow a conscience.” He eyed Zack once again, and Zack felt as though he were pinned in place, a butterfly under the microscope of something so much bigger. “That is all. You are dismissed.”

Zack was jittery all the way back to his apartment. He even had trouble fitting the key in the lock. His hands were trembling terribly. He slipped inside and shut the door, sliding down and bringing his knees to his chest.

 _That_ was the Sephiroth from the war. The ones the Wutaians had been terrified of. Zack hadn’t understood them before. Their fear had seemed strange and foreign to the Zack of a year ago. Shinra was great, wasn’t it? They provided energy for the people of the world, and the Wutaians had just been plain stupid to be unaccepting of such a great thing. Sephiroth had just shown them who was in charge. But now-

Aerith was sweet and kind and spunky. What had Shinra wanted with her? He hadn’t asked her because he had been so exhausted and scared of getting caught, but now he was regretting that he hadn’t spoken to her about it. He wouldn’t be able to see her for a while (he had used all of his leave to search for her in the slums), but something was bothering him, chewing on his mind. Aerith sold flowers in the slums. That’s it. Why had they been after an innocent civilian? Wasn’t she exactly what he had told himself he was protecting by slaughtering the Wutaians? Not only had Shinra been after her, but they were after her for the purpose of putting her in the labs. Something wasn’t right. Why? Why? _Why?_ It just didn’t make sense. Had the Wutaians been able to see something about Shinra that the rest of the world had grown complacent too? But then, _they_ had been the ones to launch the war, right? _Shinra_ had wanted peace, but the _Wutaians_ decided to go to war. That’s what Zack had grown up believing. 

Sephiroth was Zack’s hero, like he was to so many others. Sephiroth fought the bad guys. Sephiroth was the face of Shinra. Shinra fought the bad guys. _Yes, that’s the truth,_ Zack defended to himself. No matter how easily Shinra crushed Wutai using Sephiroth as a living weapon, the Wutaians had started the war. But why were the Wutaians fighting in the first place? He remembered the words of the Wutaian princess. _Do you just like to see our land taken and culture destroyed?_ Shinra not only took over Wutai, but over the past year they had begun to tout it as an exotic tourist destination. That girl, Yuffie, had known what would happen.

Zack shook his head furiously. _Shinra is not the place to grow a conscience._ Was Sephiroth warning him to watch his back? Zack unconsciously checked over his shoulder, a habit from the war he thought he had outgrown. He stumbled into his bedroom, undressed, and took a shower. He scrubbed his unnaturally muscled body clean. The mako in his veins seemed to pulse, throbbing in his blood. _Would it be green tinted?_ He wondered. He felt as bruised as he usually was in his childhood, from both his escapades into the Gongagan jungle and the beatings from his father. He scrubbed the soap across his skin, hard. He doubted he would be able to dilute the stuff pumping in his veins enough to see how much was blood and how much had been replaced by mako. Most likely, it had become so mixed that there wasn’t even a difference anymore.

Some part of Zack was hurting. He had never been very good at sorting through his own emotions, even if he could read others’ like a book. After the war, he had written to his parents about his experience as a commander. He added that he hadn’t been sure how many Wutaians he had taken down during the denouement of the war, but even though he hadn’t killed nearly as many of Sephiroth, he remembered the pride of telling them, “That’s that many more people who can’t hurt you.” While it was true, in some capacity, he kept remembering Yuffie’s tearstained face as he had all but admitted he didn’t feel guilty for killing her countrymen. It was different, once he thought of all the people he had killed as _people_ , trying to stop an impossibly strong invading force. People, with homes and lives and wives and kids and families and friends. People, who had been ‘just been doing their job’, and who had much, much more to lose.

Zack steadied himself against the wall, allowing the water to continue pouring down his back. He couldn’t think about this. He had to keep his nose out of the labs, lest he end up like the other monstrosities down there. There was no point questioning Shinra. Wutai was over and done. If he started going against Shinra… he would die. It wouldn’t matter his rank. Shinra would kill him, no ifs or buts about it.

And so Zack Fair settled back into complacency. When he was called out for missions, he silenced any objections and did his job. He was given enhancements for a reason, after all. Thankfully SOLDIERs didn’t deal with the real dirty work, so guilt soon seeped away, out of sight, out of mind. He visited Aerith in her warm, sunlighten church, hanging out with the dog and helping her sell flowers, teased the stone-cold Sephiroth and occasionally earned a smirk or a chuckle, and hung out with his SOLDIER buddies during the rest of his freetime. Nothing changed and Zack settled back into his routine.

Then he met Cloud Strife.

* * *

How to describe Cloud? The helicopter crash would be a good place to start. Truthfully, Modeoheim was not a very welcoming place. The trees were always bare and covered in snow, and the rolling countryside was little more than ice and hail. Their helicopter had crashed a thankfully short distance from the nearest Shinra warehouse, so Zack, Tseng, and two troopers had begun the trek through the knee-deep snow. Surprisingly, rather than Tseng, one of the troopers kept up the pace with Zack. 

“Hey, you’re keeping up pretty well!” Zack complimented.

“Yeah, well, I’m a country boy.” The trooper responded. He had a soft, low voice, a definite accent present. If he had an accent he _had_ to be from pretty far away.

“Really? Where from?”

“Nibelheim. You?”

“Me? Gongaga.” Zack answered enthusiastically. The trooper laughed, attempting to hide his smile behind his hand. Zack pouted. “What’s so funny?”

“It’s just… it’s such a backwater name.” The trooper explained. Zack huffed.

“Ditto Nibelheim.”

“Like you’ve been there.” The trooper said, clearly somewhat offended.

Zack scratched the back of his neck. “Yeah, well, is there a reactor?”

The trooper nodded. 

Zack put a hand to his chin in mock consideration. “Well, a reactor usually means-”

“Nothing else out there!” They said in unison, before falling into peals of laughter. Zack turned back to Tseng. “Hey Tseng, me and-”

The trooper removed his helmet, revealing the actual prettiest face Zack had ever seen. Sorry, Aerith. “Cloud. Cloud Strife.” 

Zack grinned at him, then turned back to Tseng. “Me and Cloud here will go on ahead. Catch you later, okay?”

Tseng grunted in acknowledgement, leaving Zack the opportunity to talk to Cloud privately as they plodded ahead on the unmarked snowy road.

“So, Cloud, what’s the weirdest thing that’s ever happened to you in Nibelheim?”

Cloud appeared to ponder that for a moment. “The Shinra Manor always had the weirdest noises coming from the basement. All the other kids thought it was haunted, but uh… I went in anyway.” The pause was long, as though Cloud was deliberating telling him something.

“So what, was it actually haunted?”

Cloud laughed quietly. “I’m not really sure. I went in, even down to the basement, but from behind this locked door down there I _swear_ I could hear somebody snoring… Like, not just noises in the house, but full on snoring.”

Zack laughed, hard. Hard enough to throw him off-balance. He reached out a hand to put on Cloud’s shoulder to steady himself from the snow giving way under him, but unfortunately Cloud seemed to unconsciously pull away, and Zack found himself ass in the air with the face full of snow. 

Cloud blinked, expression slowly morphing into mortification, his pale mountain skin burning with embarrassment more than windburn from the frozen air. “I’m so sorry!” He squeaked. Then he covered his face in embarrassment at the teenage voice crack. Zack grinned up at him, rubbing the snow from his eyes, and pushed himself up, shaking puffy white flakes from his hair like a dog would water droplets. He stood up and stretched, doing a couple squats to get warmer.

“Don’t worry about it, Spiky!” He waved off Cloud’s embarrassment exaggeratedly.

Cloud kept his face covered for a few more moments, calming down as the flush faded into confusion. “Spiky?”

“Yeah, you know, because of your hair.”

Cloud stared at him before a small smile came over his lips. “Can’t say I’ve heard that one before. It’s usually something along the lines of ‘Chocobo ass’.” His grin faded as he once again looked at Zack, his face instead overcome with horror. “Oh my Gaia sir, I’m so sorry- I forgot-“

“Chill out, Cloud. Call me Zack.” 

Cloud stared at him a minute before a scowl overcame his face. “Sir- Zack, you’re terrible.”

Zack grinned happily. He hadn’t felt this light in ages. Maybe it was the joy of meeting someone new, or maybe it was the fact that Cloud was already carving out a spot in his heart, made even more endearing by the fact he could tell Cloud wasn’t even trying. “I try, Spiky, I try.”

He suddenly reached over and hooked an arm around Cloud’s neck, easily pulling him close to give him a noogie. “W-What?! Hey!” Cloud tried to pull away but he was no match for Zack’s SOLDIER strength. Cloud spluttered incoherent protests until Zack finally released him. Cloud tried to look up at his (extremely) disheveled hair to see what Zack was practically crying about in laughter, but given it was at the top of his head, it was a futile exercise. Cloud settled for pouting at Zack, who simply wiped away the tears from his eyes and placed his hands on his hips, grinning mischievously. “I can already tell we’re gonna be best friends.”

At this Cloud flushed red and ducked his face into his scarf. Zack poked him teasingly on the shoulder, which only caused Cloud to stifle a laugh and try to burrow in further. This went on for so long that Tseng actually caught up to them. He stared disapprovingly at the scene. “If you two are quite done,” He said disapprovingly.

Zack stuck his tongue out at Tseng childishly. “C’mon Tseng, live a little.” Tseng merely gave a ‘hmph’ and continued onward. Cloud straightened up quickly with the look of mortification back in place. Tseng was a superior officer, and much, much more dangerous than Cloud wanted to mess with. He glanced apologetically at Zack but continued onward and placed his helmet back on, walking silently with the other trooper. Zack sighed. Tseng always took the fun out of everything. Still, he kept the Buster Sword loose in his grasp as he continued through the snow, bringing up the rear of the group.

  
  
They found nothing in Modeoheim, making the whole mission useless, and if not for meeting Cloud, Zack would have considered it a massive waste of time. As it was, though, Cloud was quickly becoming one of his favorite people. He was polite, fun to fluster, funny, kind, thoughtful, stubborn, and loyal, along with a million other awesome traits. It was awful that he thought so badly of himself. Zack noticed that Cloud had a hard time taking compliments, often brushing them off with humility. 

Truthfully, if Zack hadn’t met him in Modeoheim, he probably wouldn’t have spared him a second glance. Despite all of his good qualities in other areas, Cloud wasn’t performing very well among the Shinra ranks. It made him a target for bullying, and unfortunately Cloud’s low self-confidence only helped that issue along. 

The first time he had seen Cloud come over with a split lip and bruised face, it wouldn’t be exaggerating to say he panicked. Somehow, Cloud had fended off his attempts at mother henning and calmly explained that it was only a training accident. Zack had, unfortunately, bought it. The next time, Cloud had bruises on his arms and a black eye, which he patiently told Zack was due to walking into the wall while carrying papers. Zack still hadn’t pushed. It wasn’t until the fifth time Cloud came over with bruises littering his body that Zack had sat back, feigning casualness, and said, “Spill.”

Cloud refused to tell him at first, but eventually Zack’s concerned questions grew so increasingly outlandish that Cloud finally admitted that there was a problem. Cloud wrung his hands as he explained to Zack exactly what had happened. Apparently Cloud’s whole unit had it out for him because, quote, “I’m the runt.” They dumped his food, pushed him, cornered him in the halls and punched him, stole and destroyed his belongings, etc. Zack’s knee was bouncing furiously as Cloud continued with his story. 

“But Spiky, why didn’t you report it?” Zack asked, baffled as to why Cloud thought simply taking the abuse was a good idea. Cloud stared at him as though he was being stupid. Zack hadn’t spent much time as a cadet, flying up the ranks like a gunshot, so he didn’t have as much experience with the infantry hierarchy.

“...I tried, once.” Cloud finally mumbled, hugging himself. “Guess it got lost in paperwork.”

Zack sighed, scratched the back of his neck and studied his friend closely. Cloud’s face was bruised in multiple places, and Zack was willing to bet his torso was littered with purple splotches. Cloud refused to meet his eyes, wringing his hands. He sighed loudly, tiredly. “Honestly Zack, it’s not a big deal. I’ll heal. I have experience with this kind of stuff.”

“What?! Cloud-”

But Cloud was already out in the hallway, a figurative stormcloud over his head to match his name. Zack wanted to chase him down, but-

Zack threw his hands over his face and groaned. How do you help someone who doesn’t want to be helped? Cloud was so _stubborn_. Why wasn’t Shinra taking care of the problem anyway? Admittedly, Zack wasn’t very familiar with infantry, but wasn’t bullying a problem even on an operational level? Unfortunately, he was sure if he brought it up to Sephiroth he would simply get another warning to mind his business. Probably something along the lines of, “It helps build character.” It hurt Zack to think that Cloud _knew_ nothing was going to be done, even if he reported his injuries. More and more, Zack was learning that was just how Shinra operated. On the other, even worse hand, if Cloud raised enough ruckus Shinra was surely going to silence him, either through dishonorable discharge or by calling the Turks. Cut the dead weight (which Cloud _was_ _not_ ) to chug the machine along.

An idea hit Zack, like a lightning bolt sent by Ramuh himself. Given his status as a First Class, he could use the SOLDIER mentorship program to train Cloud to defend himself without many questions being asked. As well as helping Cloud build some muscle, Zack’s own increased presence around Cloud should scare off the truly persistent.

Zack knew that Cloud, like so many others before him, held the dream of getting into SOLDIER as his purpose within Shinra. It may be the tiniest bit manipulative, but if Cloud protested the increased training because he suspected Zack was shielding him, Zack could simply say he was helping him train for the SOLDIER exams, which would also be true. The time of the Wutai war was over by now, which meant the requirements for getting into SOLDIER had only increased in order to keep out those who weren’t already top company performers. But Zack had faith Cloud would be strong enough to pass the SOLDIER exam, no matter what his performance scores indicated. He knew Cloud would push himself to the absolute limit with nothing but his willpower in order to achieve his goal. The problem was that Zack didn’t know if he actually wanted Cloud to join SOLDIER. 

SOLDIER was… to put it simply, falling apart. The Director had disappeared one day without a trace. The mass desertions of Seconds and Thirds was also still a problem, and despite pressure from the other departments to make more SOLDIERs, Hojo held the SOLDIER formula much more closely after the laboratory break-outs. It was so bad that he wouldn’t even make and give the formula to his labhands like before. Everything that had to do with SOLDIER was done by Hojo personally, which slowed down operations to a snail’s pace. Everytime Zack went down to the Science Department now, he would get the strangest feeling that Hojo purposefully made Zack’s injections worse than everybody else’s. He was in the infirmary for much longer than usual after each session, despite the fact he was a First Class. Not to mention he also suspected Hojo was giving him much larger doses than everyone else. The only person who seemed to receive more of Hojo’s attention was Sephiroth himself, a position Zack didn’t envy in the least. He was immensely glad he was able to bust Aerith out, otherwise he never would have been able to forgive himself.

The longer Zack stayed with Shinra, the harder it was to turn a blind eye to everything that went on in the company. Zack admitted to himself that he had always known something was wrong, but like with so many other terrible things in his life, he pushed away his feelings and plastered on a smile, feeding himself lies to stay happy. It was easy with Wutai, in a do-or-die war situation. It was harder with Aerith, an innocent civilian Shinra had abducted for reasons Zack still didn’t know. It was nearly impossible with Cloud, someone with _so_ much potential that Shinra was just… stomping out, despite his dedication to the company. Zack was finding it increasingly difficult to keep up the mask of indifference. Cloud didn’t fit in, wasn’t filling the Shinra mold, and even though he was part of the company, he wasn’t a SOLDIER, which apparently gave the higher-ups the green light to ignore the trouble brewing within their ranks. To them, it seemed to Zack, Cloud was a broken cog, to be ignored until something truly went wrong. He held no sway within the company, so… his life was worthless. 

Zack hadn’t known this side of the Shinra, or if he had, he hadn’t wanted to believe. _Another poster boy_. That’s what Zack was. One of Shinra’s few success stories, inspired to greatness by the great General Sephiroth, now lying stagnant and rotting within the halls of headquarters. _Some hero I turned out to be._ He thought bitterly. A poster boy. A murderer. An important nut or bolt, but nothing so necessary that he wouldn’t be discarded by the company the first time he bothered someone with an actual problem that required funding and thought. Zack was starting to realize how lucky he was that Sephiroth had been willing to entertain his questions, how close he had been to starting a ruckus and getting silenced, and then where would he be? Certainly very Cloud-less, that’s for sure.

Zack made up his mind. It seemed each time Cloud came over for movies, the injuries and silence on the matter had only increased, and sooner or later, without intervention, Cloud’s situation would grow dire enough to be brought to higher-ups. Zack wasn’t about to pray to Shinra for mercy. He had been in Wutai. So instead, he would train Cloud to defend himself against his ‘comrades’, and come up with a substitute plan in the meantime. Something he could do to safely get himself out of Shinra. He could get Cloud’s opinion on the matter once the SOLDIER exams rolled around, and extend an invitation to him to come along. He didn’t want to leave Cloud alone in the infantry. _Maybe Aerith would let us stay in the church for awhile…_ Zack mused. He did a couple squats to get his blood pumping and jumped off the couch with an energetic leap, racing down the hallway to tell Cloud the good news.

  
  
  


Before the SOLDIER exams rolled around once again, Zack and Cloud ended up on several more missions together. A particularly memorable mission had involved the two of them investigating the empty town of Maima, where the orange groves hung low and their tangy scent wafted peacefully through the quiet wooden houses. Bugs chirped loudly in the grass as their boots stomped through the wet weeds, leaving imprints of shoes in the undisturbed dirt. It had just finished drizzling, the ground turning from hard-packed earth to slippery brown mud. The cicadas came out hiding and were humming loudly on the trees as the evening sun slipped beneath the horizon. They had finished their investigation within three hours, and since it was the two of them (What was Shinra expecting out of its troopers, nowadays? This was a pathetically small force if they had actually encountered any real trouble.) they decided to relax. 

Zack glanced at Cloud and smirked. “Hey Spiky, do you dare me to eat one of these?” He gestured to one of the oranges hanging low on a supple branch. Another time, Zack knew, Cloud would have protested Zack’s dares, but now he simply rolled his eyes and smirked back at him. “I can’t stop you.”

Zack plucked the fruit. “Ripe.” He commented seriously, examining the peel as though he and Cloud were investigating a crime scene. Cloud stifled a laugh. As Zack continued studying the fruit, Cloud finally smiled and knocked their shoulders together. When Zack glanced down in mock surprise he had a smile on his face and his arms crossed. “You gonna stand there all day?”

“Hm.” Zack put his hand to his chin in mock consideration. “Am I?”

Cloud grinned. It was nice to see him smile. Ever since he and Zack had started training it was happening more and more often, and welcome change. “You’re such a dork. Just-” Cloud’s eyes widened at something over his shoulder. “Zack, duck!” 

Instinctively Zack crouched and rolled, a heavy _something_ smashing into where he stood moments ago. Cloud already had his rifle and aimed and ready to fire. A resounding BANG echoed throughout the groove as Cloud took the head off of the Chimera with one well-aimed shot. Zack gaped at him open-mouthed for a moment. “Wha- Cloudy-”

“Zack, get up. We’re not safe anymore.” Cloud warned him. Zack was still a little bewildered, but he scrambled to his feet and automatically unsheathed the Buster Sword, readying for combat. The grove was no longer peaceful, the shadows of monsters previously hidden emerging from the shade of the orange trees. The monsters growled, still unseen. Cloud and Zack stood back to back. “We’re gonna need a helluva lot of backup for this.” Zack growled through gritted teeth, eyes shifting, searching wildly for targets. “Somehow, I don’t think we’re gonna get any.” Cloud answered breathlessly, just as alert. He was unenhanced, and a Chimera would probably kill him with one hit. Unconsciously Zack shifted, attempting to assume a more protective stance. “We can do this Cloudy.” Zack murmured. The movements from within the trees paused. The cicadas stopped chirping and birds stopped twittering and all that remained was dead silence.

If Cloud was going to respond, he didn’t get the chance too. Four Chimeras jumped out from the shade of various trees, licking their bloody maws and eyeing Cloud and Zack for dinner. Each was the size of a small car, and even Zack swallowed in trepidation. That explained the missing townspeople. They formed a circle around the duo, occasionally prowling forward only to be scared off by a gunshot or swing of metal. Both Zack and Cloud knew they wouldn’t wait forever.

Finally, one of them pounced towards Cloud. Unable to back up, he hefted his rifle and aimed, shooting the beast right through the mouth. The Chimera collapsed ungraciously, enormous paws buckling underneath it. It quickly dissolved into the Lifestream. The rest of the beasts backed off a bit, seeing what had happened to their comrade.

“Zack-” Cloud whispered, “Do you still have that orange?”

Zack nodded, then remembered Cloud couldn't’ see it. The Chimera’s were once again circling them. “Yeah, but why?”

“Cut it.” Cloud explained. “Cut it on the Buster. In half.”

Zack’s eyebrows rose. “Cloud, what-? I’d have to turn the blade toward myself-”

“Zack.” Cloud’s voice rose. He was trying his best to stay calm, but his voice was wavering. 

“Please, trust me.”

Zack sighed. “Can’t argue with that.” The Chimeras were getting impatient again. Quickly, he flipped over the Buster Sword and cut the orange on it. The slice didn’t go the whole length because he had to flip the Buster back over to ward off one of the beasts. He was forced to hold up the enormous blade one handed while his other held the orange at his side. Cloud took his cue and grabbed a hold of the mostly sliced portion, tugging it free. Now they each had half an orange.

Cloud struggled to maintain a hold of his rifle, his glove covered in the acidic juices. He was going to hear hell for ruining Shinra property with citric acid. He pressed up against Zack’s back as one of the Chimeras once again came too close for comfort. “On the count of three, squeeze it at their eyes.”

Zack hummed in agreement. After killing the one closest to him, he would just need to take down the remaining Chimera before it got to Cloud, then the third after that. It was doable.

“Three,” They counted in unison. The Chimeras growled, sensing a change in the air. “Two, One-”

They simultaneously squeezed the acidic juice into the eyes of the beast nearest to them. Temporarily blinded, the two beasts howled in pain while the third back up in confusion. Cloud shot his in two legs then through the head. Zack neatly beheaded the one in front of him. The third Chimera, sensing defeat, turned to run. Zack gave chase, weaving through the trees with the Buster Sword trailing behind him. It was hard to go at top speed with the massive sword clanging and sticking into bark, which proved problematic when the Chimera unexpectedly turned around and lunged at him.

Zack yelled as he fell, drawing up the Buster to defend himself. He wasn’t able to get it up in time, and the Chimera bowled him over, pinning his chest and lunging at his neck with sharp teeth. Seeing no other option, Zack released the Buster Sword and held his arm up in front of his face.

“SON OF A BITCH!” He screamed. All thirty two teeth in the thing’s maw were sunk into his forearm, and despite the mako trying to close the wound, it only made the pain worse. Zack wrestled with the Chimera, successfully rolling it over and pinning it. He snapped its neck in a quick, practiced movement, and nearly sunk into its chest with relief when its jaw slackened and he was able to pull his arm free. It was torn to shreds, muscle destroyed and bone broken, yet still Zack knew that within a week or two it would be good as new.

Cloud arrived in the clearing, going white faced at the sight of Zack’s arm. “Zack, holy shit-” He knelt down, taking out a med kit from the standard issue mission bag. Zack simply cradled his arm close to his chest, remaining silent as the adrenaline faded. Shinra surely knew the beasts- Something glinting on the Chimera’s collar caught his eye. It was hidden between layers and layers of fur, but- Zack nearly laughed. Of course. Of course.

_Shinra Science Department, Floor 63, Specimen C-45._

Despite the pain wracking through his arm, Zack stood up, fueled by rage and frustration. _Shinra, Shinra, Shinra. It was always fucking Shinra, wasn’t it?_ He stomped over to a nearby tree and kicked it, hard. His steel-toed boot cut through the wood like butter. The tree toppled, teetering and crashing, hard. Zack breathed in heavily through his nose, clenching his working fist tightly.

Zack turned his gaze back to Cloud, who was minutely shaking behind him. _Ah, shit_. It hurt to see his best friend scared of what he might do next. So Zack squashed his anger and bottled it up for another time. He had only recently broken through the kid’s shell. He didn’t want somebody as important to him as Cloud to see something he shouldn’t have to. He sat down beside Cloud, offering his arm tiredly. “Ya did good out there, Cloudy.” He said. Surprisingly, he didn’t have to fake a smile.

Cloud was white lipped, but relaxed after Zack showed no further signs of toppling more trees. “Thanks.” He said hesitantly. He wouldn’t meet Zack’s eyes. Still, he began to dutifully bandage Zack’s arm, taking great care not to disturb the teeth marks. He paused, causing Zack to turn and look at him.

“Zack…”

“Hm?”

“There’s uh… a couple teeth stuck in here.”

Zack sighed loudly, running and hand through his hair, before resting his head on Cloud’s shoulder. Cloud froze for a moment, before accepting Zack’s weight as comfortably as he could. Zack closed his eyes, wishing he could fall asleep. _Everything seems so exhausting._ “Guess we gotta take ‘em out.”

“...Yeah.”

A few screams of agony later, Zack’s arm was (hopefully) completely free of Chimera teeth. The mako would take care of detoxifying, so now he just had to call for a pickup. _And file a few reports when I get back._ He thought grumpily. He would settle for a nap first. He glanced at Cloud, who had finally relaxed and was packing up the med kit. Cloud shouldered the mission pack, which also contained rations. It would take a day for pickup to arrive, but in the meantime they could hole up in one of the empty houses. It was better to put to use what was already here than put in the effort of pitching a tent. 

Zack didn’t need to be a rocket scientist to understand that Shinra was indirectly killing innocents. Just like he did during Wutai. Zack nearly sighed again. The more he discovered about Shinra, the more gross he felt. And Zack was fully aware that he wasn’t actually angry at them for what they had done, moreso that what they had done had affected the people he cared about. He glanced at Cloud again, and thought of Aerith, and even Sephiroth crossed his mind. He himself had no room to speak on matters of morality. Something like guilt was now associated with what he had done in Wutai, with the promise of heroics on his 16-year-old mind, but he didn’t _truly_ feel that bad about it. His whole life had revolved around one goal: Become a hero. Back then, Shinra had seemed the only place to achieve his dream, but after several years under their boot Zack had begun realizing that maybe Shinra’s propaganda had affected him far more than he initially thought. Shinra touted Sephiroth as a hero for slaughtering thousands, and that was the kind of person Zack and thousands of others aspired to be. Zack bit his lip.

People loved Sephiroth. Sephiroth was a hero. Then, what Zack had truly wanted-

“Zack.” Cloud’s clear voice cut through the maelstrom inside his head. Zack’s unfocused eyes landed on Cloud, who was staring at him with a mixture of impatience and curiosity. Blue eyes seemed to provide a moment of clarity for Zack, who felt as though a tornado of negativity had been unleashed inside his head. Zack knelt down gingerly and held his arms out. Cloud stared at him for a moment, uncertain, but dropped the pack anyway and crossed the clearing to him.

Zack squeezed him tight. In a world where everything seemed to be falling apart, all of Zack’s lies, all of Shinra’s facades, all of the awfulness of the things he’d done lain bare, Cloud was a rock of stability. Starry-eyed Cloud, who Zack took under his wing, came back down to earth and hugged him tight. “I got you, Zack.”

Zack’s eyes burned and he sobbed, small and afraid. He hadn’t felt like this in a long time. If being a hero meant protecting the people he cared about, then he hadn’t done jack shit. The things he’d done in Wutai hadn’t made him a hero, it had made him loyal to the corporation that did nothing but capitalize off his dream. The Wutai War was an excuse for killing and subjugation, and at the end of the day Zack had willingly participated and even felt joy when covered in the blood of other people, because it helped him gain fame and fortune, which in turn made him feel...loved. Needed. Heroic. He had gotten his wish, succeeded in his dream, and now he was probably hated by that stupid innkeeper from way back when. Zack clung tightly to Cloud’s shoulders and buried his head into Cloud’s neck, scared he might lift up his face and see his mother’s distant, disapproving stare. “What a hero I turned out to be, eh Cloudy?” He finally mumbled.

Cloud wasn’t sure where to put his hands. He wasn’t hugged often, and when he was it was by his mother, who only did it to calm him down when he was younger. So he did what she often did, and ran a hand through Zack’s hair, patting him hesitantly on the back. It was strange to be the one giving comfort. “A hero?” He finally asked.

Zack felt strength seep back into him. He slowly relaxed his grip on Cloud, though Cloud kept patting his back and running a hand gently through his hair. It was like the comfort of a mother, unconditional and loving, and Zack found himself missing it even before he pulled away. He sniffed, loudly, and rubbed a dirty hand over his eyes to wipe away the tear tracks. Cloud gently snickered at him, and Zack smiled gratefully at him. Zack stood up to his full height and stretched, wincing as he jostled his bad arm, then did a couple squats to get his blood pumping again. “Thanks Cloudy. Really.” He finally said.

Cloud rubbed the back of his neck, a habit he picked up from Zack. “It’s not a problem. If you need to talk… well, you know I’m here.”

Zack playfully tousled his hair. Cloud didn’t fend off his hand (though Zack was fairly sure he wasn’t even trying this time), protesting half-heartedly and waving his arms in a mockery of his usual defense. “Isn’t that my line, Spiky?”

Cloud rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah.” He smiled at Zack, who grinned back happily. He was really lucky to have met this little trooper. The two began the trek to the abandoned village. “By the way,” Cloud asked after some time, “What was that stuff about being a hero?”

Zack waved a hand dismissively. “I’ll tell you another time.”

Cloud stared at him for a minute. “Alright, if you say so.”

* * *

**THE NIBELHEIM INCIDENT**

Sephiroth’s insanity. Nibelheim, burning to the ground. The smoke and flames licked at Zack, as though trying to eat away at his very soul. “Cloud?” He called out. A weak cough and the Shinra trooper uniform caught his eye and Zack rushed over, dragging Cloud away from the burning house. The whole village was on fire around him, heat and ash stinging his face and invading his lungs, the stench of burning flesh very nearly matching that of the Wutai rebels.

“M-Mom…” Came Cloud’s hoarse voice from underneath his helmet. The other trooper lay by the inn, but Zack didn’t have time for him. He swallowed thickly, scanning the area. The burnt, black corpse that was surely Cloud’s mother lay wedged underneath the flaming roof of what would have been Cloud’s house, but Zack didn’t have the ability to console him right now. He had to get to Sephiroth.

\---

Zack failed. _Cloud_ had been the one to finish off the General with an incredible performance of sheer will and stubbornness, throwing Shinra’s most impressive creation into the vat of toxic mako below the reactor. Cloud had collapsed immediately afterwards, Masamune through his middle, and Zack had lost the strength to keep his eyes open soon after. Which begged the question: _Where are we? How are we still alive?_

It was Hojo’s doing. Of course. Zack supposed this was his comeuppance, but Cloud- 

A scream cut through the mako. Even though he was delirious and could barely be called lucid, Zack’s hand still clenched weakly. It was Cloud’s turn right now, his turn under the scalpel and the needles, but Zack would do anything to trade places. He wanted to rescue Cloud. He _needed_ to rescue Cloud. Cloud was-

Another scream. The body in front of his tank, laid out of the operating table, was straining and flailing wildly within the restraints provided by Hojo. The man merely sneered and turned around, fishing for another needle. Zack was never sure what Hojo hoped to accomplish, but _by Gaia_ he would kill him for it. 

Forgoing the needle, Hojo took out a scalpel, examining it a moment before placing it on Cloud’s pale stomach. With no anesthesia or antiseptic, he began to perform a surgery of some sort, probably for no other purpose than utter base cruelty. Cloud’s screaming stopped, and Zack could swear his chest had stopped moving. Zack’s eyes widened imperceptibly from within the tank, but he still couldn’t move a finger. Hojo took notice, and treated it as though _Cloud dying_ was a minor inconvenience at most. Through the hazy green of the tank Zack saw him stop and get a defibrillator. Cloud’s body spasmed once, twice, three times from the shocks, before finally his chest began to rise of its own accord again. Hojo returned with his scalpel, and in his hazy mind Zack realized it probably would have been greater mercy to let Cloud go rather than continue living. Zack, though, was much too selfish to hope for Cloud’s death, and soon enough it was his turn on the cold metal table once again. Despite the pain that always came with being free of the mako tank, Zack never regretted a second of it. No matter how much he loathed the invasive procedures with all of his heart, he would always rather they be done to himself than to Cloud.

  
  


Pure hell. That’s what this place was. It was one of the few times Zack and Cloud were out of their tanks together, bare of clothing and being fed like dogs. Zack still had enough of himself intact to eat with his hands, but he often had trouble forcing Cloud to take a bite of anything. “Come on, Cloudy, one for me, okay?” He often whispered. Cloud complied, and Zack was thankful for the small mercies. The days where he was worrying about his next mission seemed completely foreign and distant, and the time spent in the lab was endless, an irregular disgusting cycle of feeding times and dehumanization. He tried thinking of Aerith, but it never worked, her prescence neither solid nor real enough to compare to his torture down here. _What would she think of me now?_ He wondered. Nothing more than a piece of meat to be dissected, invaded, destroyed. The only person that could possibly matter to him down here was Cloud.

He huddled closer to Cloud. Cloud blinked at him, uncomprehending, but only for a moment. “Zack,” He whispered, only loud enough not to qualify as ‘silent’. Zack put an arm around him, unconsciously moving his body to shield Cloud from any prying eyes. 

“I’m gonna get us out, Cloud. I swear to Gaia.” Zack murmured quietly into his ear. Cloud blinked again, glowing blue eyes unfocused, before dropping his head onto Zack’s shoulder. “Zack,” Cloud said again, “I hate this place.”

Zack held him tighter. “Me too.”

They stayed like that, even when the lab assistants came. Zack gave them a hell of a fight, but he was forced back into complacency by a knock out drug.

He and Cloud planned thier escape using nothing but the nails of their fingers. The mako tanks, instead of reinforcing the body like it did in usual small doses, actually made skin and bones more breakable. Any piece that skin that flaked off was immediately eaten up by the burning green ooze. Zack (and Cloud, he was sure too) had lost many nails that way.

  
  


For some strange, despicable reason, Hojo began to focus on Cloud. No matter how much Zack pleaded, bargained, or groveled, Hojo refused to entertain the idea of using him instead. So Cloud was taken out more, cut open more, injected more, invaded more, and became completely, utterly, destroyed. Zack couldn’t find it in him to blame Cloud when he began retreating somewhere inside his head for longer and longer. Time seemed to slip by, intangible and therefore useless in a place such as the lab. Hojo came around less often, growing disinterested with the project, always peering at Cloud with some hope for _something_ , but (thankfully) always disappointed. Zack was left alone, something he was conflictingly grateful for and hated. The day finally came.

One of the lab hands began draining their tanks for feeding time. Zack first, always. He knew this, and he was banking on it. As soon as he gained coherency, he smashed the glass and made a beeline for the assistant, snapping their neck easily. This one would be the only one to come by today, he knew. He and Cloud had memorized every routine, every shift, every person that came in or out of the lab. That is, until Cloud had gone away. Then the duty fell to Zack. Zack didn’t care if he stepped in any shards of glass. _I have to get us out of here._

He found two spare SOLDIER uniforms left from Gaia knows who. Cloud remained unresponsive, even after Zack had broken him out of the mako tank. He ruffled Cloud’s hair, but even that familiar gesture didn’t cause a stir. As hopeless as he felt, Zack dressed them both and pulled Cloud’s arm across his shoulder. He grabbed the Buster Sword, Gaia knows why Hojo kept it, and began hobbling out of the room.

As he exited the lab, he deigned to shoot a disgusted look behind him. Unfortunately, as much as he wanted too, there was little time to set fire to the place. He turned around and kept walking.

\----

It was a cold night. Zack had no idea where they were, but he wasn’t about to drag his ass outside to look. Snow was falling down slowly, and the air was already warmer than when he had been in Nibelheim. He had no idea if it was a seasonal change or if he had actually gotten the two of them going east in the right direction. But whether it was either of those things, they were way too close to the Shinra manor for his tastes. He shot a glance at Cloud. He still hadn’t responded to any outside stimuli, and Zack was forced to think about the fact the Cloud might actually be in a mako-induced coma, much like the druggies down in the slums. Cloud’s pale face was lax, glassy eyes empty of comprehension, and he so, so reminded Zack of his mother. 

Despite the awful mood in the air, Zack laughed. It wasn’t a nice laugh, like the many others they had shared together. It was raw, and it hurt his chest and made his eyes sting with something other than mako for once. _If I cry, will my tears be green instead of blue?_

“Cloud! It’s time to wake up, Spiky!” He joked. “This isn’t funny, dude, this isn’t funny at all.”

Cloud said and did nothing. Zack glared at his body, because really, that’s what it was. Where in the world was the actual Cloud? “Really Cloud, I go through all this effort and I don’t even get a thank-you kiss?” This strange, twisted parody to one of his conversations with Aerith filled him with anger. Irrational anger, probably, but still anger all the same. He huffed not-so-playfully at the caricature of Cloud beside him. 

“No offense, Spiky, but you should be more like Aerith. She was fine when I rescued her.” It was mean-spirited, rude, and million other things Zack didn’t care to think about. He was so _tired_ of being positive, of acting like nothing hurt. Because it did hurt. Really, really bad. After everything, Cloud had abandoned him. Zack tried everything to bring him back. He told him stories of drunk adventures with his previous SOLDIER buddies. ( _What happened to them anyway? Weren’t they curious what had happened to their commander and friend? Or maybe Shinra had just silenced questions with a Turk_ ). He had told inside jokes to him, and talked about Aerith, and done everything he could to jog Cloud’s pretty little head. None of it. Ever. Worked. 

Zack finally groaned loudly, unafraid of who might hear them in this little cave. The snow was still falling heavily enough that Zack was confident passerby wouldn’t hear them, if there were even any nearby. Zack pulled Cloud down off the wall and positioned himself so he was covering his unresponsive body. They had no heat besides what their body made, so they had to make do with natural warmth. 

“It’s okay, Cloudy. I forgive you.” He murmured after a while. And he truly did. There was no resentment like with his father. Cloud was everything at this point, and unlike his Ma, Cloud didn’t mean anything by his silence.

 _Zack Fair, you fucking idiot. Your best friend is in a coma and the only thing you can think about are your parental issues._ Zack ignored his brain and cuddled closer to Cloud, intertwining their limbs so neither would go cold in the night. Sephiroth was gone. He had no idea about Aerith. His parents… His parents might truthfully be dead by now. It hurt to think about, but not nearly as much as it should have. Zack fell into a fitful sleep, dreams plaguing his mind for what felt like the first time in twenty years.

\---

_“Seph’s acting kind of weird, dontcha think, Cloud?” Zack asked._

_“Er- I don’t know him that well.” Cloud said. He still went starry-eyed at the thought of the General, likely envisioning himself standing beside him._

_“Some help you are!” Zack teased. They had arrived in Nibelheim in late evening, Sephiroth saying some pretty strange stuff before he went to bed, in Zack’s opinion._

_It was quiet in the small inn room for a few minutes. The Buster Sword was leaned against the wall and the only thing that disrupted the quiet were Zack’s grunts as he did squats. Cloud studied him, clearly impressed after he hit 300. “I know SOLDIERs have advanced stamina and all, but is this really the best use of your talents?” Cloud asked, eyebrows raised._

_Zack grinned at him after hitting 350. “Of course. That’s not a serious question, I hope?”_

_Cloud laughed, quiet but bright, and Zack found himself energized enough to hit 500._

_“Do you think General Sephiroth does squats?” Cloud idly wondered. Now that had caused Zack to fall over laughing. The great General Sephiroth, doing something as mundane as squatting? Cloud had blushed red at the image, once he realized what he was saying, but he still laughed, moreso at Zack than anything else._

_They got ready for bed and turned off the light. It would be quite a hike tomorrow. But Zack couldn’t sleep. Thinking of Sephiroth always seemed to lead back to himself, and soon enough he asked, “Hey Cloud?”_

_He heard rustling from the other bed in the room. “Yeah Zack?” Cloud asked tiredly._

_Zack ran a hand through his hair, a much less effective habit when he was laying down. “What do you think makes a hero? Don’t be shy, I wanna hear it.”_

_Cloud rustled some more. He was quiet for long enough that Zack thought he might have fallen asleep. “Cloud?”_

_“Yeah, I’m just thinking. A hero, huh? Um…”_

_Zack sighed. “It’s fine, you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.” It was just, ever since Maima, he felt a little lost. Shinra had lost most of its appeal. Sephiroth seemed to grow ever-distant as the days dragged on. His SOLDIER friends treated him differently since his promotion, and he wasn’t close enough with any of them to talk about this kind of stuff. He even had a hard time having fun on missions that weren’t with Cloud. Being a hero, or at least the hero 16-year-old him was aiming to be, wasn’t as fulfilling as he had wanted._

_“No, no, it’s okay, just give me a minute,” Cloud responded, staring at the ceiling, “A hero is General Sephiroth.”_

_Zack sagged. That wasn’t what he was hoping to hear- “Or, that’s probably what I would have said, if you had asked me awhile ago. Now that I know you… I think you’re a little bit better definition, Zack.”_

_Zack sat up in bed, “You’re not serious, right Spiky?”_

_Cloud probably raised an eyebrow, but despite his glowing eyes, Zack couldn’t tell in the dark. “I’m serious, Zack. I don’t know what your definition is, or where you’re coming from with this, but… to me, at least, I think you’re what a hero is. You’ve helped me with… a lot, and you’ve always been a good friend to me.” Cloud was probably turning red by now, knowing him._

_Zack settled back down into his bed. “Well uh, not what I was expecting, but thank you. Goodnight, Cloud.”_

_“‘Night, Zack.”_

_His mother’s words from what seemed like so long ago echoed in his ears. ‘Most of all, be someone you can be proud of’. Zack didn’t think he was quite there yet, but… maybe, if he could become someone Cloud was proud of, then Zack could start to be proud of himself._ I’m your hero, huh, Spiky? _Zack grinned._ I’ll keep that in mind.

\---

The Shinra infantry was after them within the week. Zack kept them both out of harm’s way by hot wiring cars and staying one step ahead, but occasionally he had to stop and fight if he didn’t want to be followed. 

He no longer cared who he ended up killing in the heat of battle (as if he ever had at all). Former friends, acquaintances, colleagues, it simply didn’t matter anymore. Cloud was his number one priority, his only reason for being. Zack knew, just knew deep in his bones, that if Cloud wasn’t in the lab with him he would have given up a long time ago. Become just another experiment, another specimen with a lost name and history, and maybe he even would have ended up just like that dog he freed. Bleeding out, whimpering pitifully if anyone approached, unrecognizable from its original form. _Specimen Z_ , Hojo had called him. Nothing but a husk.

Cloud gave him something to protect, something to live for. He gave Zack the strength to keep going, because if neither of them lived what would be the proof they had existed? He owed it to Cloud, as both his hero and his friend, to protect him with all he had until he woke up. And even then, Zack would play guard dog. He had no purpose now, his files at Shinra wiped clean, so he might as well protect that which he held close to his heart with all of his mako-given strength. And if anybody knows anything about Zack Fair, it’s that he pours his soul into his goals. Right, Wutai?

\---

“Dammit Cloud, get up. I can’t drag up both across the desert.”

Cloud lay face down in the golden sand, unresponsive.

“Wake up, Cloud. It’s your turn to drag me across the continent.”

Cloud was silent.

“I’m seriously gonna leave you if you keep pulling this stunt, Spiky.”

Footsteps sunk into the sand, walking unsteadily away from the body of a hidden friend.

“Cloud. C’mon.”

Cloud didn’t move.

“I guess I have to do everything myself.”

He returned, picked up Cloud, and created four tracks in the sand instead of two.

\---

Gongaga hadn’t changed much. The bogs still sucked his toes down under the mud, and Touch Mes were still in high supply with little demand. The vines swung low and Zack had trouble ducking them, tall as he was at whatever age he was now. Cloud had equal difficulty, almost matching his height since he was pulled over Zack’s shoulder. Despite the swamps and monsters, Zack was glad to be home. 

Cloud’s coma had continued their entire journey, but even though Zack got frustrated and yelled, or sometimes even shook Cloud furiously in a fruitless attempt to wake him up, Zack wouldn’t abandon him. At this point, he didn’t even care if they were both in danger of starvation or dehydration, they would get to Gongaga or die trying. Zack nearly wept with relief when he finally saw the tip of the inn roof in the distance, but his happiness was short-lived as he and Cloud trudged farther into town.

“What...happened?” He asked with shock and hopelessness. Half of the houses in the village were completely decimated, wood turned to charcoal. He whipped his head around, looking for his parents’ house, and was swamped with relief when he saw it standing unharmed. 

Zack jostled Cloud a little. His golden head lolled side to side. “We’re finally here, eh, Cloudy? Ready to meet my parents?”

Zack rolled his eyes at his companion. “Yeah, yeah, I know. Of course you are.”

Zack continued forward. He knew it was a risk to come here, but he had to check on his parents. He may not have had the perfect childhood, but he still loved his parents. He dragged Cloud to the front door, plastering a grin on his face and knocking. Nobody answered. Zack sighed and rolled his shoulder, shooting a teasing grin at Cloud. “Well well well Spiky, looks like you got off the hook this time.” 

Zack opted for kicking the door open. “Homesweet home.” He said, grinning widely at his bedroom down the hall. _Nothing seems to have changed at all. Kind of freaky._

Zack sniffed himself, wrinkling his nose. “First things first… a bath.”

Zack got the water running and thought of his mom. _Where are her and Pops?_ He wondered idly, testing the water. _Not to mention the question of what had happened here._

He undressed Cloud quickly and lowered him into the steaming water, fondly ruffling his grime-laced hair. He scrubbed unashamedly at Cloud’s bare body. This was simply the way it had to be. No use getting flustered about genitalia when you’re on the run and have a maximum of three minutes to wash before Shinra catches up. Once Cloud was done, Zack quickly toweled him off and undressed himself, sinking into the now lukewarm water with a sigh. 

“You don’t get boilers in the woods, eh, Cloud?” Zack said brightly, scrubbing himself with unscented soap. The water almost seemed dirtier than the swamps around them from how many layers of grime had come off of the two of them, but Zack didn’t care as he thoroughly scrubbed his hair, freeing it of leaves, dead bugs, dirt, and all the other nasties picked up by going unprotected camping. 

  
It was, quite frankly, a miracle the Turks hadn’t arrived before Zack finished. Or maybe they had, judging by the shiny black motorcycle parked outside. Zack whistled lowly. Maybe he shouldn’t forsake _all_ of his relationships back at the company.

“Check this out, Spiky!” Zack said excitedly while putting Cloud onto the cycle before slipping on himself. _Well, I came by and they weren’t here. Also half the town is gone. I can’t stick around, I’m sure they’ll understand._ Truthfully, Zack doubted they were that worried about him. He had no idea how long ago he had sent his last letter, be it months or years. They would be fine without him.

He revved the engine, surprised a pair of keys were slid into the ignition. “Thank you!” He called out. Gongaga disappeared as Zack sped up, weaving through the trees before reaching the main road to Costa Del Sol, where he hoped to hightail it to Midgar to check on Aerith. After that… he would decide later. He tried to secure Cloud more safely onto the motorcycle by pulling his arms through Zack’s First Class uniform’s suspenders (in place of a seat belt), but he had to rely on driving more slowly in order to truly avoid injury. Still, driving with a breeze on his face and someone special curled up behind him was the most freeing feeling Zack had had since escaping the labs. Despite his better instincts, Zack sped up, simply _breathing_ in the sea breeze rolling in from the coast. He squinted with happiness, watching the rays of the sun turn the distant horizon into a painting of purples, oranges, and blues as the faraway ocean undulated beneath it. A warm weight was on his back, ever present. Cloud’s fingers seemed to flex to hold on to him more tightly, and Zack felt a renewed faith in Cloud’s ability to make it through his coma. Once Cloud woke up, then they would- well, Zack wasn’t sure yet. 

But he would be Cloud’s hero as long as he could, as long as Cloud wanted. A different kind of hero from the one he had originally wanted, the kind that smiled and protected rather than killed and conquered. A personal hero, instead of a war hero. It was the least Zack could do. Dear Gaia, there was so much more, but... he would start here. He would start here, and he would do what he had to- to make it up to that Wutian princess, to that innkeeper who had hoped he would grow up and learn what really mattered, and to his mom, who had let him leave home because she truly believed he could be someone better than a small town hick. The scent of Aerith’s flowers seemed to waft on the wind, filling Zack’s head with peacefulness and calm. A real, true smile spread across his face. _What a day to be alive._


End file.
